Looking back, there are lessons I wish I had discovered sooner. The journey hasn’t always been easy, and some realizations only became clear over time. If I could go back, these are the pieces of advice I would offer:
- You gotta pay your dues. If you want something, it’s gonna take elbow grease.
- Family is important, whether it’s your chosen family or your blood. They’re the ones who will be there for you when no one else will.
- If you pay attention, people always tell you who they truly are.
- Surround yourself with people you want to be like.
- Take care of your body. The younger you are when you start, the more you’ll thank yourself later. Quality of life is more important than your actual lifespan.
- Don’t waste your time pushing expectations onto others—you’ll only end up disappointed. My advice: expect people to be who they already are. That way, they’ll never fail you.
- Take a self-defense class that focuses on de-escalation, situational awareness, and how to physically protect yourself.
- Be a lifelong student. Never stop learning.
- Don’t be afraid to admit when you’re wrong.
- Life gets more complicated and entangled the older you get. Do things while you’re young.
- Don’t stick with something bad just because you’ve sunk in a lot of time or effort. Look at what you want for your future instead of looking to your past.
- If you want to know what’s really important to someone, look at how they spend their time, money, and energy.
- In romance, pursue a partnership. It shouldn’t be all about one person or the other.
- Know how to recognize the mental fog and confusion that comes with being gaslighted.
- Travel often. Have adventures and take calculated risks. Be spontaneous sometimes.
- Trust your gut, it’s never wrong if you feel something’s off.
- Learn good habits early on. Make your bed. Wash your towels and sheets often. Brush your teeth. You’ll be grateful when you don’t need expensive dental procedures.
- Be cautious when strong emotions of “purpose” arise about others. Remember, YOU are the greatest purpose you will ever have.
- Learn about finances early. Even if you only read one finance book a year or listen to one podcast episode a month. Just start.
- Start saving and investing as soon as possible, even if it’s just $5 a week or $5 a month. Compound interest is a powerful advantage over time.
- Go to therapy. So much of what you’re struggling with is normal and sometimes you need a professional to tell you that.
- Find joy in cooking.
- Prioritize quality over quantity when it comes to friends. It’s perfectly fine to have different friends for different aspects of your life, and casual friendships are okay as long as they’re respectful.
- If you’re curious, feel free to experiment—but always do so safely. This applies especially to relationships, but can be relevant to many areas of life.
- Try to understand the signs of domestic violence and know that it can appear as emotional, mental, financial, sexual and physical abuse.
- Key advice: They don’t need to touch you physically to cause harm.
- A person’s actions should always align with their words. Words mean nothing without the backing of real actions.
- Learn to stop and mentally ask yourself before you buy an item. Is this a need or want?
- Generally angry people feel threatened in some way, so try not to take things personally.
- Never settle for being someone’s second choice in love, business, or life. Don’t let yourself be anyone’s backup plan.
- If you want to improve a skill, like public speaking, practice daily. Even if it’s just a few minutes. Stay focused, and you’ll be surprised at how much progress you’ll make after a year.
- Everyone will have an opinion on what you should do with your life. Listen respectfully, but remember—only you understand the full picture and can make the best choice for yourself.
- You are only trapped by your expectations. You literally get to create your life. You can’t change some circumstances or poor experiences but you do get to choose how you react and recover.
- It’s okay to end friendships too. Just because someone’s been your friend for years doesn’t mean you have to settle for less than you deserve no matter when you met.
- And don’t forget to use SUNSCREEN.
- This too shall pass. My advice? There is a time and a season for everything. It’s okay to be sad, just don’t stay sad. Be purposeful about climbing out of the muck. Write down future goals and plans; this helps you to have something to look forward to. Troubles don’t last forever (unless you choose to roll in the mire). But know that life does have ups and downs. You may have up days and down months. You may have up years and down weeks. Life is cyclical. Remember the good times during your bad times; that’s how you get through.
- Any job that doesn’t value you, doesn’t deserve you. It’s better to find the better work environment from the jump versus pushing through to show your “mettle.”
- It’s okay to want, love, need, enjoy, dislike, or even hate something or someone now and change your mind later. This applies to everything: school, career, relationships, friends, or even pizza. You don’t owe anyone anything. Make the choice that’s right for you.
- If your gut tells you no, trust it and say no. And if you say yes but later realize your gut was right, give yourself grace.
- Your mental health isn’t worth sacrificing. Whatever it is, it’s not worth the cost.
- Tell your friends and family you love them every chance you get. It will be your last time one day and you’ll want to remember the last time you said it.
- Choose the right partner. It’s easier said than done, but make sure you choose with both your brain and your heart.
- It’s not until you lose everything and everyone that you truly realize your self-worth. You are valuable, and once you understand that, nothing anyone else says matters.
- The secret to happiness is letting go of attachments. Nothing in life stays the same. Material items break, people change or leave, and expectations lead to disappointment. True happiness doesn’t come from needing or having anything; it comes from choosing it. Embrace the present moment with gratitude. Appreciate the simple joys: the sound of birds, a flowing stream, a sunrise or sunset. Surround yourself with what brings beauty to your life, whether it’s nature, music, art, or meaningful connections. Find what makes life beautiful to you and let it fill your heart.
- My advice is to make choices that help you feel comfortable. If you’re cold, find warmth; if you’re hungry, eat something nourishing; if you’re tired, get some rest. Take responsibility for your well-being, because only you can do that. Don’t play the victim or blame anyone else when you’re uncomfortable. It all comes down to recognizing your value. You owe it to yourself to take action and care for your needs.
- Always live with integrity for peace of mind and a good night’s sleep.
Final Thoughts: The Best Advice for Embracing Personal Growth
As we go through life, the lessons we learn and the advice we receive shape who we become. The best tip I can offer is to stay true to yourself, trust the process, and never stop evolving. Personal development is a lifelong adventure, and every step, no matter how small, brings you closer to realizing your full potential. I wish nothing but the best as you navigate your path to self-actualization.
Take a hike on the McBride Trail to guide you along the way.