After facing many difficult experiences in life, here are things I’ve learned thus far:
- You gotta pay your dues. If you want something, it’s gonna take elbow grease.
- Family is important, whether it’s your chosen family or your blood. They’re the ones who will be there for you when no one else will.
- If you pay attention, people always tell you who they truly are.
- Surround yourself with people you want to be like.
- Take care of your body. The younger you are when you start, the more you’ll thank yourself later. Quality of life is more important than your actual lifespan.
- Don’t waste your time pushing your expectations on people. You’ll always be disappointed. Instead expect people to be who they already are. They’ll never fail you.
- Take a self-defense class, one that teaches de-escalation and situational awareness, as well as how to physically handle yourself.
- Be a lifelong student. Never stop learning.
- Don’t be afraid to admit when you’re wrong.
- Life gets more complicated and entangled the older you get. Do things while you’re young.
- Don’t stick with something bad just because you’ve sunk in a lot of time or effort. Look at what you want for your future instead of looking to your past.
- If you want to know what’s really important to someone, look at how they spend their time, money, and energy.
- In romance, pursue a partnership. It shouldn’t be all about one person or the other.
- Know how to recognize the mental fog and confusion that comes with being gaslighted.
- Travel often. Have adventures and take calculated risks. Be spontaneous sometimes.
- Trust your gut, it’s never wrong if you feel something’s off.
- Learn good habits early on. Make your bed. Wash your towels and sheets often. Brush your teeth. You’ll be grateful when you don’t need expensive dental procedures.
- Be careful when feeling strong emotions of “purpose” about other people. YOU are the biggest purpose you will ever have.
- Learn about finances early. Even if you only read one finance book a year or listen to one podcast episode a month. Just start.
- Save and start investing ASAP, even if it’s $5/wk or $5/mo. Compound interest is a huge advantage over more time.
- Go to therapy. So much of what you’re struggling with is normal and sometimes you need a professional to tell you that.
- Find joy in cooking.
- Focus on quality over quantity with friends. It’s okay to have a different friend for different aspects of your life, and it’s okay to have superficial/casual friends if they don’t hurt you/disrespect you.
- If you’re curious, experiment, but safely. (Mainly for relationships, but applies to most things.)
- Try to understand the signs of domestic violence and know that it can appear as emotional, mental, financial, sexual and physical abuse.
- He/she doesn’t have to physically touch you to hurt you.
- Someone’s actions must always match their words! Words are nothing without actions!
- Learn to stop and mentally ask yourself before you buy an item. Is this a need or want?
- Generally angry people feel threatened in some way, so try not to take things personally.
- Never be someone’s second choice. In love, business, life. Don’t be anyone’s backup plan.
- If you want to get a skill like learning how to skateboard…do it daily. Even 20 minutes. Focus on it. You will be so shocked at your progress at the end of a year.
- Everyone will have an opinion about what to do with your life. Listen, be respectful. But realize that they cannot possibly understand every facet of your life to make the best choice for YOU.
- You are only trapped by your expectations. You literally get to create your life. You can’t change some circumstances or poor experiences but you do get to choose how you react and recover.
- It’s ok to break up with friends too. Just cause they were your friends for a long time doesn’t mean you have to accept less than you deserve just because you met them in high school or college.
- ALSO. USE. SUNSCREEN.
- This too shall pass. There is a time and a season for everything. It’s okay to be sad, just don’t stay sad. Be purposeful about climbing out of the muck. Write down future goals and plans; this helps you to have something to look forward to. Troubles don’t last forever (unless you choose to roll in the mire). But know that life does have ups and downs. You may have up days and down months. You may have up years and down weeks. Life is cyclical. Remember the good times during your bad times; that’s how you get through.
- Any job that doesn’t value you, doesn’t deserve you. It’s better to find the better work environment from the jump versus pushing through to show your “mettle.”
- It’s ok to want, love, need, enjoy, dislike, or hate something/someone now and change your mind later. This goes for anything. School, a career, relationships, friends, pizza… you don’t owe anyone anything. Make that hard decision.
- If your gut tells you no -say no. Give yourself grace if you said yes and it turns out your gut was right.
- It’s not worth sacrificing your mental health. Whatever it is -it’s not worth it.
- Tell your friends and family you love them every chance you get. It will be your last time one day and you’ll want to remember the last time you said it.
- Pick the right partner. Easy to say, hard to do, but pick with your BRAIN as well as your heart.
- It’s not until you lose everything and everyone, that you realize your true self-worth. You are valuable and it doesn’t matter what anybody else says once you know that.
- The secret to happiness: There is no point in having attachments to anything in life. Not material objects, people, or expectations. The reason being is that, nothing stays the same, (material objects get old/broken/lost), people change, move away or pass away and having any expectation to a particular outcome will always result in unhappiness. You don’t need to be, do, or have anything in order to be happy. You simply choose to be it. Be happy by feeling gratitude for the present moment. The beautiful sounds of birds and of a flowing stream, the sight of a lovely sunrise/sunset. We are surrounded by beautiful things. Nature, music, literature, art, tea, yoga. Find things that mean a beautiful life to you. The laugh and smile from a baby. The greeting from a pet and authentic friendships.
- Make choices that align with making yourself feel comfortable. If you are cold, find a way to make yourself warm; if hungry, find something nutritious to eat; if you’re tired, put yourself to bed. Take care of you, because ultimately only you can. Take action and be responsible. Don’t play the victim and put blame on someone or something if you are somehow uncomfortable. It comes back to knowing your worth. You owe it to yourself.
- Always live with integrity for peace of mind and a good night’s sleep.
I wish nothing but the best for you and your path to self-actualization. Hike the McBride Trail to help you get there.